Dating retard, I am.

Sooo, I have been dating this guy. He is tall, have a decent job… and that is probably it. I had to see him twice just to determine whether or not he was a retard. But then again, I guess if you are a doctor you can’t be much of a retard. If it wasn’t for my sexual desperation there would most probably not have been a third date. Until the third date he had not impressed me much. He was too reserved. His politeness did not come natural. He laughed when my jokes were not funny AND he’s compliments sucked! Oh, and the worst part was that he did not own a bed. What the hell!!!! Who in their right mind sleeps on the floor if they are not pure bums?! One other thing that was kind of a turn off was that he never contacted me randomly. There was always a notification through messenger saying he might call the following day and that he was scared to bother me as it seemed as I was always busy working… Oh God give me strenght!!!
Thanks to a very close friend of mine I still had the state of mind that a cock is always a cock, so I decided to agree to a third date. To my surprise he had changed his way of approaching me and took for once initiatives. He was super kind and affectionate during the whole night and I almost got scared there for a second wondering if he started to develop feelings for me. He offered to drive me home when I decided that I got what I came for and it was time for me to go home.
But does his super sweetness on the third date weigh up to his dullness and the fact that we have nothing in common, except for sex that is??? Or have I become completely twisted in my head after last summers “porrmobile rides” over the south parts of Sweden???? Will I forever think that the best relationship in this world is when you take off all your clothes once you come inside the door and as soon as you got what you came for it is time to leave… No drama, no strings attached, no feelings.

When I come to think about it, maybe I am the retard. A freakin' DATING RETARD!!!!

Realization!!!

ohoh! Save me before it is too late! I overheard a remix of Justin Timberlakes lovestoned on the radio and I got hooked.. say what what? Since when do I like electro-house? OMG, I have become one of these mature women who like everything that they shouldn´t... Electro-house?! Really?! How teenlike isn´t that? Even worse- Timberlake remix! Soon I will be standing in the corner of a bar full with 18 year olds, dressed in a minidress and high heels drunker than anyone else at that place... Wait a minute!!!! Done it already!!! OMG call the mature police before it is too late!

Add a letter before I.L.F

Some "smart guy" came up with the concept of M.I.L.F. That is "mothers I´d like to fuck". I hear it everywhere nowadays. Not that I am a mother but there are many guys using the concept. Not once have I heard a word in the same context for women looking at fathers. So, I looked it up. Most logically would it be either D.I.L.F for "dads I´d like to fuck" or F.I.L.F for "fathers I´d like to fuck". The latter proved to be existent, however not in the context of women looking at hot fathers but instead it was a concept meaning" Fatty I´d Like To fuck". And most correctly the first statement actually already existed, however, I had to google it to even make sure there was a word for women to use. This makes me wonder if it would be accurate to just put any letter infront of I.L.F and make it a valid statement for something someone would like to fuck. Such as, C.I.L.F, for "Clown I´d like to fuck" or T.I.L.F for "teenager i´d like to fuck" (All guys dreams, trust me!) or D.I.L.F could also stand for "Dwarf I´d like to fuck"... see what I mean?! Someone should come up with something better. I am already working on it!!!

Superman Dat Hoe

Just have to post this definition taken from urbandictionary.com. Because I think everyone know the song by Soulja Boy called Crank Dat Superman. But do you know what it means? My dearest friend who know how much I appriciate things like this sent me the link and I am forever greatfull to her! here it goes:

Superman dat hoe

When with a girl and you don't get any action, you wait until she falls asleep, jack off onto her back so when she rolls over the sheet sticks to her back giving her a cape. 

"Watch me superman dat hoe.

Yo, Billy did you get any last night? Nahh but I supermaned dat hoe". 

You are very much welcome!!!!!

The young calfs

How can somebody be so God damn gorgeous that you just want to cry? But, isn´t it a bit weird to find someone much younger than you so attractive? Will it always be like this, that I find young men illigally handsome even when i turn 50 or 60? Well, looking at the case of many famous middle aged women, like Demi More and Madonna, it is not highly unlikely. The trend of having a younger boyfriend... but were will one draw the line? When will it start to be discusting? Or maybe i am just hungover and desperate... 

That type of guy

In the middle of the daily stress and all what college studies includes, I am thinking about men, or more the complexity of saying that someone is your type. What are the features of a person that makes him your type? Without thinking I would say; tall, dark and fun. it is laughable really as none of my former boyfriends have ever been both tall and dark, nor have they been funny the way imagine the perfect guy to be. So on the hunt on my type of guy I am reflecting back on the summer of 2008 that confuses me even more. I dated three guys at once, none of them resembeling the other. There was the tall, athletic, black latino guy, the tall, well dressed former homeless arabic man, and the white, skinny, rich brat with weird but charming humor. They had absolutely nothing in common but I was still drawn to them enough to waste a flirt on them. But were they my type? Honestly, I never saw us playing in the same league, and was under the circumstances just looking for some fun... So still on the hunt for my type of guy...   

On fuckbuddies

What good is ex boyfriends if not a casual lay now and then. Because, personally, I dont like adding another number to the total amount of guys I have had sex with. So why not just go back to someone you already counted. Now, the counting of people I slept with is not really applicable nowadays since i havn´t kept count for several years. But still, it is a psychological concern. Although be careful with how long time has passed since you last saw this ex of yours. i did the mistake of catching up with an old ex of mine. Dressing up to the teeth with high expectations living on memories from our time together. i agreed to meet at his house far away from home, where he was to prepare dinner including alcoholic beverage. So, between the lines I agreed to sex. The moment he opened the door I looked around for another house because I was determined i had knocked on the wrong door. The man who opened was 15 kilo heavier, lost his hair and was just not what i expected. However, after a couple bottles of wine i could go through with what i came for.  Mission completed!

Fuck buddies is another concept that troubles me. Well, not so much the concept as oppose to the reality of the concept. the unwritten contract between two fuck buddies is that there are no strings attached more than sex. The best way to get it to work is to strictly keep it to sex. As soon as you start to hang out, watch movies , eat dinners, and talk more personally you got problems. It doesn´t have to mean that you get feelings for the person, but you get used to the person, and might feel some additional connection to that person. All of the sudden it is not ok, to see this fuck buddy with other girls. So the next step is to say "it is ok if we are not together, just that you don´t sleep with other women" and all of the sudden you are trapped in a relationship that might as well be an official one. Been there, done that and it didn´t turn out the way I wanted it to. The question is, has there been anyone that has had a successful casual sex relationship without getting hurt or hurting someone Else's feeling? Can a casual sex relationship result in a win win situation?   

On Facebook

Ok, I admit it; I am a Facebook addict. The most fun I have is of course all the attention I get on the application "Are you interested". I don´t know if you are familiar with it, but it sort of enables anyone to browse pictures of people that are enrolled in Facebook and then click yes or no depending on if they are interested or not. All you base your decision on is one picture. Shallow you think? Well shallow is my middle name. I find it interesting how I get a completely different audience depending on my profile picture. too much makeup means less clicks and more losers. A more innocent picture will get increased response of somewhat more handsome guys. The worst click i ever got, was an old fat man in his 60s with a little girl in his lap. Come on! As I would ever?! Just my luck... And it wasn´t just ONE click, it was several clicks including use of application gifts and mails. Why why why? Thank God for cyberspace and not needing to actually meet these people... Moreover, what are all these old people doing onFacebook anyway? I thought it was a site for college students keeping contact with their fellow students. This old man was retired even before the blogasphere era started. from now on; I am pro age limits on Facebook!  

Dating online

I have never been a big fan of dating sites online. I find them extremely boring and there are never anyone that seems interesting. However, a couple of days ago I was listening to a radio program that was discussing online dating. There was a new concept to the whole thing. People who knew singles could put them up on a particular site. Writing a fun summary on what they think about the person and all of the sudden all the cliche's with walks on the beach and candle light dinner disappears. I think the concepts is awesome. Not only will the summary reflect more on the true person but the people are actually HOT as these are normally people that wouldn´t care to put their profile on a regular dating site. The beauty of it is that you then can blame others for having your profile there. Of course a friend can´t just put anything out, it has to run through the person in question but still, it is a great idea. This is the only site I have heard of until now that is using this concept and unfortunately it is only in Swedish.

Thoughts on dating

I think Russell Kane summarizes it all when he explains how English people don´t date. That goes by the way for most European citizens. We don´t know how to date and then dating more than one person at a time couldn´t be more unethical. I have to say that my experience in dating is timid. I could calculate my dating experiences on one hand and they were all disaster. The last date I went on was with a German guy. Oh my god girls, do NOT accept a date after a couple of beers in a dark pub. Somehow, I found this man, who i actually don´t remember the name of, attractive until next day when i realized he was a looser. He invited me for a nice wine and dine evening, but 15 minutes in the conversation he says that he usually doesn´t ask girls out because he finds it too much of a hassle to talk them up in order to get them into bed. Therefore, he preferred to buy prostitute services. The appetizer hadn´t even arrived yet and I felt I just couldn´t leave right there. Honestly, who says something like that on the first date?! What the fuck! He then realized his mistake and said that girls usually found that he talked too much. I couldn't more than agree. I got away without leaving my number and haven´t seen him since. 

At least he was nice enough to pay for the date. That´s another thing with the European dating- Guys don´t pay!  And what is that all about? yes we are in an equality society but when it comes to certain things, guys still have a duty to perform. First dates should not even include split bills. I am all in for more open dating in Europe but someone should really put some time into developing an European dating etiquette handbook. Maybe I will once I graduate.

Motivating my blogging

I have always so much on my mind that I decided today to start a blog. That way I might get some feedback from the cyberspace. More importantly some answers to all those questions that keeps popping up. I have also decided that this might help me on my upcoming research paper. My choice of being relatively anonymous is because my thoughts and philosophies are not always for the eyes of my future employees or other shallow relationships I might face in the future. Have to manage my online reputation so to speak. Anyway, thanks for looking in. I am looking forward for some serious blogging.

So lets do this mother! Let´s blog shit! 

Onjakt